Bi-Polar Bear
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The Bi-Polar Bear - unlike its regular counterpart, the Uni-Polar Bear - exists at both the South Pole and North Pole simultaneously - hence the name. In light of its behavior, it is believed that it finds this aspect of its existence to be rather unbearable. (or perhaps dibearable, as opposed to unibearable. in any case, it seems to be pretty grizzly indeed)
| GWRARRRGGGHHH! COME HERE PUNY LITTLE FISH I'M GOING TO BITE YOUR HEAD OFF AND EAT YOUR EYEBALLS FIRST AND THEN SPIT YOU OUT SO I CAN ENJOY EATING YOU AGAIN! THEN I'M GOING TO FIND THE REST OF YOUR SCHOOL, LINE THEM UP, AND SLOWLY CHOMP ON THEM UNTIL THEY CAN NO LONGER TAKE THE PAIN AND WISH TO BE EATEN LIKE THE REST!!! | ||
—The Bi-Polar Bear at 11:53 AM | ||
| Sigh... What's the point of all this? I eat a fish and just get hungry a couple hours later anyways. Maybe if I just jumped off this cliff into the pond I could end it all and not worry about my next meal. No, it's not worth it unless somebody sees it and feels my pain. Maybe I should wait until day so the kids on their field trip. But I always feel better by daytime! Oh misery. When will you take me from this world? | ||
—The Bi-Polar Bear at 10:27 PM | ||