Celebrity Poop Collectors

Celebrity Poop Collectors are people who follow celebrities around and gather the celebrities' dung. After collecting the celebrity poop, the collectors sell it online, where there is a considerable market.

"My life is so much more meaningful now that I've bought the entire collection of Angelina Jolie's feces!" says devoted fan Archibald Smidgeon, "It was tough buying all that poop. I spent a fortune, especially on the extremely rare 1998 Diarhea. But it was worth it, because now I've got something that all Angelina Jolie fans yearn for. A roomful of her POOP!"

Celebrity Poop Collectors use their expert stealth to sneak in to celebrity homes and grab the turds before they get flushed. At times, it can be quite challenging. According to the Britney Spears poop collector: "Yeah, I had a really difficult time for the first couple years of poop collecting from Britney. If she caught me in the act, she'd chase me with a steak knife. Nowadays, though, she's usually in a drunken haze, so she never notices me."

Some celebrity poop is more rare and difficult to collect than other celebrity poop. For instance, Donald Rumsfeld actively poops on the heads of the poor, so his poop is easy to come across. Micheal Jackson, on the other hand, only pooped once or twice in his life before having his anus surgically removed. The two poops he does have are pure white, and are in the hands of a notable collector who would "Never sell them!"