Ceremonial elephants
Ceremonial elephants are rampaging musk rats ridden by racist stereotypes. These stereotypes were later arrested for their alleged racism and the Muskrats lost heart and disbanded.
Any porcelain remnants of the event took an unexpected nosedive out of a thirty story high window, rumoured to be linked to their mysterious explosion upon contact with a pedestrians head next to the bottom of the very same building.
“He'll be feeling that in the morning”
Illegal trade
Ceremonial elephants are obviously much sought after by poachers who have run out of eggs. Elephant meat is very chewy but will last the cast of Big Brother seven years, and one of them is a fattie!
There are three ceremonial elephants in the world. Each of them has a gammy eye. That's because Ellie Fant is going round punching them for no reason whatsoever. However the previous statement would have to forget the fact her name bears a strong resemblance to a well known pachyderm. Don't believe everything you read.