Coffee

Heresy, says The Church of The Twitchy Thumb of Illogia! Clearly, this is so; the scripture agrees: File:Cquote1.pngThere is but one God, and coffee is one of its prophets.File:Cquote2.png Whoever wrote this must be very eeble indeed! Obviously. It simply cannot be otherwise!

Coffee is that stuff that looks like tea but is not. It also looks like poop, but it's not that either! SO WHAT CAN IT BE?

...is that what coffee is?...that looks like the toilet after m' cousin's had tacos and spaghetti.

Oh well. I guess we stick with tea, then. Crumpets!