Drama

Drama is the number one cause of liver disease in the Western World. A mostly Internet-specific phenomenon, though commonly found on stage, it is by nature a distracting beast, and the source of much consternation (to be confused with constipation) amongst the general populace.

One need only look as far as Eastenders for a prime example of drama, or more specifically, bad acting. Since actors are required to film a new episode every day, tension builds between them as they slowly grow ever more sick of the sight of each other. A state of drama ensues, as one by one, the actors mimic their on-screen personas by killing each other off by means of increasingly inventive methods.

Drama Regulation Committee

Amateur dramatics can, in the wrong hands, be potentially destructive. Excessive amounts of drama can lead to explosion, implosion or cataclysm of said production/performer. For this reason, professional dramatics are regulated by the Drama Regulation Committee, which meets each Thursday to decide on such vital topics as "should we extend the commercial break?" or "who will fetch the tea and biscuits for the next meeting?" These meetings used to be on Friday, but everyone was too busy watching Coronation Street and neglected to turn up.