Elmo Loves You

Elmo loves you and would never hit you in the head with a baseball bat.

Elmo loves you and is one hundred percent real.

Elmo loves you and only you.

Elmo loves you, but not in a horrifying, rape-related way.

Elmo loves you and will give you candy if you behave well.

Elmo loves you so much, he'll shoot you if you don't watch his television show.