Holisht

Holisht is, according to the underground rumours of the most divine of fluffalizers, the word that was first uttered which led to a freak sequence of accidents that led to Santa's birth. The events are as follows:

1. Santa existsn't.
2. Then, someone throws a gingerbread man at The Queen.
3. She then says: "Holisht!"
4. Santa then falls out of a water tank.
5. Santa existsn'tn't and is therefore doubted.

The third point is the most debated, as some believe it was mispronounced.

This argument then created the Universe, thus fueling war and eventually causing a worldwide shortage of waffles due to their use as conventional weaponry.

This then created Germaine Greer, thus destroying the Universe and leaving Muffin the Mule to rule for all eternity.

His ability to measure with a ruler then ended, about 6 minutes ago. In-depth information remains scarce, but it is widely held that his best by date was long overdue.