IllogiBooks:The U.S. History You Never Learned in School/Chapter 1 Test

Give your students this test on Chapter 1 after they boozed up and see how they do. An answer key is included.^[1]

The Test

1. Who founded America?

A. George Washington

B. Christopher Columbus

C. You

D. No one. America doesn't actually exist.

2. How did the ~~Puritans~~ Pilgrims get to America?

A. Big truck

B. Old ship

C. Giant flower

D. Apriltree

3. When did they go?

A. May

B. Baseball season

C. 2000 Presidential Elections

D. NEVER

4. Why did they go?

A. Religious freedom

B. 99 cent stores

C. Britain smelled like shrimp

d. Eh?

5. Why did Britain come to America?

A. They felt like it

B. To found a colony and tax its people

C. To eat Big Macs in peace

D. All of the above

NO STUDENTS ARE TO SEE THESE^[2]! (Teachers:Use special reveal text trick.)

1.D

2.C

3.B

4.C

5.D

↑ Well, you may not want to give it to the students, unless you want to accuse them for cheating, send them to the office, and have a nice, long coffee break.
↑ Unless you want them convicted for cheating by the ~~principal~~ JUDGE!