IllogiBooks:The U.S. History You Never Learned in School/Founding of the Colonies

The colonies were what eventually became America. Well... About a 1/5 of it, give or take.

The Basics

Britain was the first to really colonize the Americas and made such settlements as Jew York, Assachussetts, and that really small place no one cares about. They founded them with such techniques as kicking the Natives off of their land, kicking the Natives off of their land, and the third technique of kicking the Natives off of their land. This rapid cycle continued all the way past the days of the colonies. But nevermind that.

How it all happened

People in giant ships were sent over to a land they knew nothing about but nevertheless went there. They were comprised of faggots, I mean Protestants, who were leaving England for religious freedom. The king said, "You ain't gonna practice your own religion" so they left. Though they escaped because of not having religious freedom yet most didn't let Catholics or Jews into their colonies. Hipprocrates. Wait, that was a Greek philosopher. I mean hypocrites. Yeah. That's it. So in short, the colonies were settled because England wanted power and spoiler alert: England ends up with nothing in the Americas!

Guided Practice Questions (Jeopardy Style)

1. These three passengers went to America.

2. His name stars with a "P" and sounds like "Hen"; also he founded a colony.

Answers

1. Who are three people who have not been in my kitchen.

2. Who is not William Penn?