IllogiNews:Aliens kidnap owner of bank

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This article is part of IllogiNews, your sauce for chips and sausages.

Jon Jon, the owner of the yin-lard bank, was abducted by aliens this Thursday morning.

The aliens where of the non-purple type, meaning that if they eat him they will not use salt or pepper.

He is probably being held on the moon, where the alien bases are. South End Base is the most likely location, that's where the cattle victims are forced to eat nothing but pie and TV shows for the rest of the lunar year they were taken.

NO!! NOT THE OWNER OF BANK!!! CURSE YOU, ALIENS!!