IllogiNews:Old granny kills elf with a baseball bat

This article is part of IllogiNews, your sauce for chips and sausages.

SAMVILLE, Calorida

It is a known fact that today in the state of Calorida that old granny Jack Michaelson saw an elf beating up a flying Arabic turtle in the street today. Many expected Superman to save the day, but he was on vacation in Albuquerque with a transvite eskimo. So, the granny took justice into her own hands and killed this evil elf with her grandson Paco's prized baseball bat. This granny is being convicted for 90th degree murder and will receive a crappy sentence next whenever.