Interviewing Your Shelf
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And the shelf fell on him, crushing the not-so-poor guy. (who was rather rich in actuality).
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So here I am again, interviewing my shelf. Yes, my shelf. I lost my other job.
- ME: So Mr. Shelf, how have you been?
- SHELF:
- ME: Um... by the way I asked you a QUESTION.
- SHELF:
- ME: Playing tough, are you? OH, I see you're not talking cause you're made of IKEA, eh?
- SHELF:
- ME: OK, seriously TALK!!!!!
- SHELF:
- ME: TALK! TALK! WHY WON'T YOU TALK! IT'S OKAY TO BE MADE FROM IKEA SO TALK!!!!! PLEASE!!! I'LL LOSE MY JOB IF YOU DON'T!!!
- SHELF:
- ME: GAAAAH I'M GOING TO HIT YOU. I'M SERIOUS!!!!
- SHELF:
- ME: I was being serious.
- SHELF:
- ME: TALK!!! Pleaseeee or I'll looooose my job!!!
- SHELF:
- ME: GAAAAH! (hits shelf)
- DIRECTOR: He is so unprofessional. (Rolls eyes)
So we got this cheaper shelf...and more professional guy to do the interview.
- PRO GUY: Sooo Shelf my man, How ya been?
- SHELF:
- PRO GUY: It's OK. I don't bite...only my dog does. And that's usually my backside that he bites. Do you want to see the marks?...Anyway!
- SHELF:
- PRO GUY: Um.... So.... The interview's started.... O.K I'll greet you to start off. Soooo Shelf my man, How ya been?
- SHELF:
- PRO GUY: ....Seriously, talk. Look, we're losing time. Only 1 hour 28 and 34 seconds left, idiot. Hurry up!!!! I have tons of questions to ask you!
- SHELF:
- PRO GUY: Okay....I'll start with a question then. Where were you made?
- SHELF:
- PRO GUY: Made in China. I see. That's O.K, I know how it feels... my dog's Chinese... I think. Anyway, question 2. When were you born?
- SHELF:
- PRO GUY: I can answer that myself....You are stamped with a date...says...19/08/06.
- SHELF:
- PRO GUY: ANYWAY!!!! When did you decide to become a shelf?
- SHELF:
- PRO GUY: Born a shelf, eh? Well, I can say that for my daughter as well, but hey! That's life!
- SHELF:
- PRO GUY: ....hmm....Do you have a sense of humor?
- SHELF:
- PRO GUY: Well??? (stares closely at shelf)
- SHELF: (nail falls of shelf and pokes him in the eye)
- PRO GUY: GAAAAAAAH!!!! (dies)