Is that what you call a knife?
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"Okay, the waiter never gave me a knife to cut my meat," I said.
"I have a knife," said my companion. So then he pulled out a sausage.
So then I said to him, "Is that what you call a knife? Because most people call that a sausage."
"Oh," he said.
So then I tried to cut my meat with the sausage
It didn't really work. The sausage sort of broke into crumbs. So now my meat was topped with a different type of meat, and I still hadn't managed to cut it.
I was getting annoyed, and then I realized I had a knife in my pocket.
So I reached in and pulled out a baby carrot.
And then I realized, That's not a knife.
I threw the carrot behind me and it hit somone in the eye, but I didn't care.
"Is someone going to get me a knife or what?" I asked to anyone who would answer.
No one answered.
"I guess I'll just go home then," I said.
But then this man stood up
And he said "And where do you think you are going, young man?"
I looked at his shirt. It said "Guns Don't Kill People, And I Don't Either. Nukes Do." I felt like running away.
"I want to go home," I said.
He looked around, and then said "I have a knife."
He pulled a frog out of his pocket and gave it to me.
And I went back to my table
To try and cut the meat. It didn't work.
"Gah!" I said, and then I bit the frogs leg off.
My companion was staring at me.
"What?" I said.
"Here is the knife you were asking for," he said before handing me a bundle of damp shirts.
"Thanks," I said, before I cut my meat.
But then I realized I had no fork.