IllogiZoo:Kitchen Zebras
Kitchen Zebra | ||
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File:Zebra lionfish.jpg British people say "zebra" funny, with a short e. | ||
Conservation Status | ||
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text-decoration:none; font-size:16pt; } </css> Least Concern | ||
Kingdom | Evil | |
Phylum | Vertebrata | |
Class | Not A Fish | |
Order | No, definitely not a fish | |
Family | Smooth | |
Genus | Propecia | |
Species | C. Zebraphone | |
Width | 0.9m (avg) | |
Length | 1.7m (avg) | |
Binomial Name | ||
(Gruntlesmithy, 2011) | ||
Kitchen Zebras are household pests found in many suburban homes. They are full-sized African zebras, but instead of living in African plains, they squeeze themselves in to cupboards, shelves, and holes in walls.
"I was so upset when I discovered that I had a zebra infestation!" says one homeowner, "I kept hearing this scratching coming from inside the wall, so I opened the wall up expecting to find a mouse or something. Instead, a fully grown zebra tumbled out of the wall. I chased him out of the room with a flyswatter. The next day I found a nest of the bastards in the attic."
Kitchen zebras can be eradicated with twelve-foot mouse traps. Turning lions loose in your home also works. How is pregnant?