Linen

See these linens here? These nice, clean linens? DO NOT mess them up. I'm serious.

I spent two hours just ironing them! Don't wrinkle them, don't even touch them. I'll use these linen bedsheets to strangle you before I let you dirty them up. Or I would, if that wouldn't get them all dirty.

Just back away. Here, wash your hands with what's left of the bleach before getting any closer to my clean linens.

What are you doing?!

Get that orange juice out of here! OUT! Out I say! And take the dog with you, I don't want that hairy, smelly thing shedding all over my nice, clean linens.

Oh, now look what you've done! You went and tripped over the dog in your rush to get out and scared me so much that I fainted and fell onto the pile of linens I just ironed. Get the hell out of here, you've ruined everything. Just leave me alone... I hope you're happy.