Marble

MARBLE

A marble is a small glass ball. It's alive, it just doesn't feel like moving.

They were invented by Horace McGuiver, a 16th century poet. For centuries, people had been playing "marbles" with glass cubes that wouldn't roll. They just tipped over. Finally, Horace realized "Wait, it would work better if marbles were ROUND!" It was this brilliant realization that earned him his place as one of the greatest philosophers of all time.

Of course, there were many people who didn't want to convert to using round marbles. "Marbles that didn't roll were good enough for my parents, so they're good enough for me!" Said someone.

Type type type type type type type. And a shoelace, on display.

Today, everyone uses round marbles. Square marbles are considered priceless artifacts, which is odd, considering how useless they are.

All the people who advocated for the use of square marbles are now dead. Well, they're not exactly dead. They're alive, they just don't feel like moving.

MARBLE