Mortal

If you are mortal it means you are able to die. HowTo:Die explains how to die. Of course, if you wanted to die, you could just read Top 10 ways to die.

Immortal

This, my friend, is the complete opposite, as pointed out by the "in" in front.

• No, no, no, it has an "im" in front! Otherwise wouldn't it be inmortal?
• No, because the N becomes an M when it is in front of an M.
• It's not in front of the M. It's to the left.
• Oh, yeah? Well, if you tilt the computer sideways it is above the M!
• But what do you mean by "in front of" then?
• Exactly! Ha!
• Wait, what?
• Exactly.
• What?
• You've got it.
• What?
• Yes already!
• Yes what?
• Yes that is right?
• What is right?
• What.
• What?
• Yes.
• Huh?
• No.
• What?
• You've got it.
• Got what?
• Exactly.

Which seems similar to this other article I read, and if someone could find it and link to it it would be helpful... Thanks.

You're welcome...

...to DIE! Because you are a mere mortal! Which brings us back to the beginning of the circle.

What? I thought it was a square.

Well, you can't square the circle.

You can circle the square.

By taking the square and drawing a circle around it. Yeah.