Mr. Twin Pads

Mr. Twin Pads is the name of a teacher I had three years ago...or was it two? Either way, he taught mathematics. He always wore a blue shirt with a brown tie, which was a hideous color combination. But the truly unique thing about Mr. Twin Pads was that he had no head.

That's right. Mr. Twin Pads had no head. He had no head whatsoever. Not even a small head. His head simply wasn't there. Just a severed neck.

Every day he'd stumble in to the classroom and try to write on the board. Of course, since he had no head, he couldn't tell where the board was, and half the time he ended up writing on the wall, the floor, or a student.

He never spoke. Obviously. Because he had no head. But he would bang his hands against things to get your attention. Once in a while, he'd send a stream of body fluid squirting out of his severed neck. But only on special occasions.

Mr. Twin Pads is the name of a teacher I had...three years ago...or was it four?