My life is average

My life is average (or MLIA) is a site on those so-called interwebs where users tell "average" stories and get a response. Not really. In all reality, it consists primarily of repeated jokes, unlikely tales, and anything but stories of an average life.

Harry Potter

Because it is part of the "not-all-tween-girls" section of the web, MLIA is strongly in favor of Harry Potter. Unfortunately, this "in favor" attitude turns into an "OH MY GOD EVERYTHING MUST BE HARRY POTTER" attitude because it is totally reasonable to have an unhealthy obsession with a series of books. Users go as far to hate on "opposing" series Twilight, often in a manner involving making fun of "Twi-hards" for being obsessed with Twilight, notwithstanding the fact that they themselves have an unhealthy obsession with Harry Potter.

The Totally Realistic Idea of People Breaking Out in Song

You cannot spend five minutes on MLIA without encountering a post involving a group of people, normally in a school environment, breaking out into a song that is almost always a Disney song. Now, the unrealism of that happening more than a handful of times is obvious. I mean, the frequency of posts would suggest that every fucking high school has a sing-a-long day every Thursday. Also, I would like all of the teenage men in the room who know the lyrics to any assortment of Disney songs to stand up. No one? Exactly. The problem with these posts is that they almost insist on making themselves as unlikely as possible without having a fucking dragon attack the school. The people breaking out in song are always American football players who the reader is supposed to be like, "Oh, they're not gonna know the lyrics- Oh my God, they know the lyrics!"

Unrealistic Stories Involving Teachers

Because the userbase of MLIA seems to be uncreative with their not-so-masterful bullshitting, a large amount of posts pertain to the fact that you can be a lazy sack of crap who doesn't to your work and/or fails a test but still do well as long as you do something funny on your paper. For some reason, that almost always involves drawing some type of dinosaur or ninja. Pretty much anything that is sanctioned by the Internet as being cool and "lolzy". The story always reads something like: "I totally didn't study for my chemistry test because listening to Blink-182 on Spotify is more important than my future (because, fuck it, I'll go Devry) and I went into school so nervous. I didn't get any of the questions correct, but since my teacher is a sack of shit who doesn't deserve a job, he gave me a one-hundred-percent on the test because I drew a ninja killing a dragon. Because of this, my terrible work ethic will never be changed and I'll be rewarded for my laziness later in life. Either that or unemployment." I apologize. I feel that wasn't an accurate representation, but it matches the article's tone, goddammit.

People Cashing in On Bets and Whatnot

Every ten posts is someone saying, "My girlfriend said if I don't get this post featured on MLIA, she'll eat my small intestine while I watch. Come on guys! Get this featured!" It's one thing if that's every week or something. The problem is, when you feature ten posts a day about people not believing they can get featured, what's the point of featuring them in the first place? Like, no shit, they're going to feature it. They've featured the fifteen other posts with the same thing. Also, the bets proposed in these probably-fake posts are so ridiculous. For example: "My mom said she'll drop me off at a hospital in Nebraska if this isn't featured by May 13th!" Like what the fuck? What people do you associate with that would put that high of a value on being featured on a run-of-the-mill "nerd"-infused site.

Worst of All, People Referencing MLIA in Real Life

I'm not quite sure on this one, but I think if you go up to some random schmuck at Wal-Mart who does something mildly funny and shout, "MLIA!" he'll look at you weird at most certainly not shout "MLIA!" along with you. If you were to spend five minutes on MLIA you would see nothing but the contrary. Every story involving a vaguely-cool person ends with them just-so-happening to know about MLIA. If we're going to assume that all stories are real (which it really pains me to do), that would mean that thousands of people unsuccessfully shout "MLIA" at people who are completely oblivious to the site and end up looking at the person weirdly or hitting them with a tire iron. Whatever comes first. The frequency of these posts implies that every person and their fucking grandmother reads MLIA. And for their grandmother's sake, I hope they don't.

In conclusion

I conclude MLIA users are all socially awkward. Too much?