Nonsense prognosticator

The nonsense prognosticator is a fantastic un-made-up machine that is ultimately responsible for all nonsense created in the world. It is connected to the burning cookie accumulator and possibly the infinite monkey chaingang. It uses the combined energies of the French to power a massive whirler and something that can hook me up with a dry martini. It can.

It was created by Francis E. Dec to be the source of his nonsensical powers. Dec subsequently used it to retroactively generate the nonsense that would be instrumental in the creation of the machine itself, an impressive paradox if ever there was one. Yeah, that was a sentence. What are you going to do about it?

The nonsense prognosticator is capable of generating all past, present, and future nonsense, though it is usually encoded in old show tunes. To access it, press nine. Then press nine again. Then, die.

Occasionally the nonsense prognosticator meets its match in the nonsense skeptic, who says how false the nonsense prognosticator's predictions are, until some kind of slip-up is caused.

Please, please, never try to encode a circuit diagram in spaghetti. It only delays the delivery of The Daily Horror.

Off with you to Reddit. Go.