Ominous Crotch Stain (Oh no!)
- Not to be confused with the Ominous Crotch Stalin.
Generally this occurs when you have someone of high precedence drooling lazily on your lap during the popcorn moon at gasmark 5. They will feel left out and violated as their drool notices it's been caught on the rebound from the previous not-quite-so-well-washed-out drool related crotch stain. The drool will become angry, feminine, masculine and a hard unreactive solute.
Under the clever rouse of slipping into something more comfortable the new-comer drool will proceed to put together The Ultimate Shotgun noisily in the hallway, casting obvious shadows that give the game away, and asking your assistance in putting the weapon together while repeatedly shouting it's intentions to Shoot your longest armpit hair with it. When it's least expecting it walk very slowly away and pray for f*ck that you won't experience a bullety, messy exploding sensation.
Barry Scott had a crotch stain.
BEWARE!!! Virtual crotch stains! (sharp inhalation of stool-ridden air in shock!) By leaping out from it's hiding place in an intenret porn-up, you will be forced (and legally obliged) to stare for extended periods of time at an ominous stain in the round-about location of your wang. Or worse, forced to print out a picture of a crotch stain as designed by a lucky BluePeter contest winner, and stick it onto your trousers, hooking it through your coin-purse.