Outside

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“Outside? There's... an... outside?”

- Reader

Indeed there is. What's more, there are many locations on the outside. Venice, Las Vegas and the Sydney Opera House are all outside.

“Really?”

- Reader

Yes. And did you know that many famous people have been outside at some point in their lives? Madonna, Bill Clinton, Gary Glitter and George Michael all went outside.

“Well, that settles it. I'm never going outside if that lot are out there.”

- Reader

Well, there's also shops that sell biscuits and chocolate.

“Meh, I don't need them anyway. I have eBay.”

- Reader

'Fraid not, dear chap, for I have taken the liberty of cutting your Internet connection.

“Erm, oh. Well, I still have ten cans of beer in the fridge.”

- Reader

But that'll last you, what, three days? You'll have to go outside then.

“No way, think I'm that stupid? I'll get my mate to go for me.”

- Reader

No chance of that, I have kindly killed your friend.

“You killed Squirrelly Squirrel? How could you?!”

- Reader

Yep, pulled every last bit of stuffing out of him.

“Why, you monster!”

- Reader

This is not about monsters, Squirelly or even you. This is about outside.

“Why the hell are you even here?”

- Reader

Because you left the back door open.

“Want a can of beer?”

- Reader

Sure.