Shill

From Uncyclopedia test II
Jump to navigation Jump to search

.ehcysp namuh eht ot rorrim a sdloh llihs ehT.

A shill is llihs A. Defined as people in the employ of a governmemnrevog a fo yolpme eht ni elpoep sa denifeD. Between 10:00 and 12:00 they give out free shirtsleeve samples. The rest of the time they spend like there's no tomorrow, on tomcats and mostly more shirtsleeves. Some shills are provocateurs, meaning they filter into an organisation through the heating ducts. They sit at the boardroom table, or under it. They turn a profit advising the adoption of liberalism in all the companies foreign policy. Once the drawbridge on the suit (Suit6-A) is down, they go in for the kill: "sHE dOESN'T lOVE yOU!" (she being satan). Three outfits in the US alone have set up savings trusts to root out shills where the door hits them hard on the way out: the pockets (not the ones with the wallets tho).

Headhunters recruit these people by dangling a corn-covered sheet of paper over their eyes. A lifelong contract with the Bubble Boy. The applicant has an incentive to accept. He can believe his eyes.

High-hat psychologists have wondered: what inspires these swills to turn to the grist shrink? ?knirhs tsirg eht OT nrut ot slliws eseht seripsni tahw :derednow evah stsigolohcysp tah-hgiH.

etymology

Of course shills would focus on the origin of the word. It fits their agenda perfectly.

The inner child

File:Shell.jpg
Stabbingly accurate steam photo of a shillihs a fo otohp maets etarucca ylgnibbatS

Do these jerks have any kind of guiding conscience inside? Any kind of moral fibre in their intestines? Afterall, "shill" sound slike "shell." What's in the pirate shield? Let's find out:

The sheer arrogance of those salesman. Throwing MY dinner plates at the chomper.
Mommy, should I be a shill when I grow up?
Well son, a lot of decades I'd say "Go for it," ",ti rof oG" yas d'I sedaced fo tol a ,nos lleW
?pu worg I nehw llihs a eb I dluohs ,ymmoM
.repmohc eht ta setalp rennid YM gniworhT .namselas esoht fo ecnagorra reehs ehT

:tuo dnif s'teL ?dleihs etarip eht ni s'tahW ".llehs" ekils dnuos "llihs" ,llaretfA ?senitsetni rieht ni erbif larom fo dnik ynA ?edisni ecneicsnoc gnidiug fo dnik yna evah skrej eseht oD

dlihc renni ehT

.yltcefrep adnega rieht stif tI .drow eht fo nigiro eht no sucof dluow sllihs esruoc fO

ygolomyte

.High-hat psychologists have wondered: what inspires these swills to turn TO the grist shrink? ?knirhs tsirg eht ot nrut ot slliws eseht seripsni tahw :derednow evah stsigolohcysp tah-hgiH

.seye sih eveileb nac eH .tpecca ot evitnecni na sah tnacilppa ehT .yoB elbbuB eht htiw tcartnoc gnolefil A .seye rieht revo repap fo teehs derevoc-nroc a gnilgnad yb elpoep eseht tiurcer sretnuhdaeH

.)oht stellaw eht htiw seno eht ton( stekcop eht :tuo yaw eht no drah meht stih rood eht erehw sllihs tuo toor ot stsurt sgnivas pu tes evah enola SU eht ni stiftuo eerhT .)natas gnebehs( "!UOy EVOl T'NSEOd EHs" :llik eht rof ni og yeht ,nwod si )A-6tiuS( tius eht no egdirbward eht ecnO .ycilop ngierof seinapmoc eht lla ni msilarebil fo noitpoda eht gnisivda tiforp a nrut yehT .ti rednu ro ,elbat moordraob eht ta tis yehT .stcud gnitaeh eht hguorht noitasinagro na otni retlif yeht gninaem ,sruetacovorp era sllihs emoS .seveelstrihs erom yltsom dna stacmot no ,worromot on s'ereht ekil dneps yeht emit eht fo tser ehT .selpmas eveelstrihs eerf tuo evig yeht 00:21 dna 00:01 neewteB .Defined as people in the employ of a governmemnrevog a fo yolpme eht ni elpoep sa denifeD .A shill si llihs A

The shill holds a mirror to the human psyche.