Small bang
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File:Santa cow.jpg
The Small Bang Theory is best illustrated by a man in a cow suit, who in turn is in a Santa Claus suit. Notice the lack of scaly appendages.
Small bang, or "the theory of a few things", takes into account the laziness of the average human while explaining life, the universe and everything. Singularities are represented as milk cows, with the cosmic background radiation likened to bubonic plague. The speed of light becomes a milk pail, with mass being Santa Claus, and energy becoming bacon.