Soviet slaps

Soviet slaps are a special kind of slap over the face.

These slaps aren't just any slaps, they're packed full of soviet, T34 tank, bollock busting, red flaggy goodness. An they R being on your face!

Origins

Way back in the year 110110, two Russian Cossacks decided to slap each other around the head. Unknown to them there was an anti-Cossack law in force, for they were in Sellafield. when the anti Cossack police came to rout them out, they decided to slap someone else on the head, apart from themselves. Hence the soviet slap.

The police blew up the local inn, due to the slap's force.

Renaissance

Cossacks now have to wear "the green underwear of Russian superiority" on their heads before doing ritual slaps.

Other ways to get a Soviet slap

Step in front of a walking hammer stampede.