Statisticians
“The only thing more pointless than statisticians is the numbers they work with”
The origin of statisticians
Statisticians are almost as cool as Chuck Norris... in fact, it was once spaken that Chuck Norris enlisted a sexy, Croatian statistician to compile some one-way ANOVA random processes file error number charts having something to do with his general level of kick-assery.
In the rare event that a statistician is female AND attractive, she will likely blow your mind with mind-numbing numbers and graphs and charts and other pretty things drawn on that cool cube-y paper, and then after that blowing, more, better, blowing will commence. It should be added, with a complete aire seriousness and professionalism, that female statisticians, especially of the European variety, can fully satisfy a horny male with all of the necessary provisions.
The first great statistician the great Jimmy McBobbington was the first to discover that the number 42 was not to do with life, the universe and everything but was the number of polar bears per thousand to die of cod liver oil poisoning.
The reliabily of statistics
Since those early days statistics has greatly improved because the fact most people now believe 750 per thousand studies are proven to be correct; as proven by a study in 1978, statisticians were said to have quoted:
| We are 75% sure this study is totally reliable. |
This evidence after much scrutiny, other statisticians discovered that the reliability was relying on the truth of the study itself and actually the study was proven to be -1175858% true. Thus crazynegativitiypenetageongly was discovered.