The Miserable Howls of Goats and Watermelons

This is a sad story. It takes place in a room.

Inside the room were two steel cages. With rust on them.

There was an elderly goat in one cage and a watermelon in the other.

Their cages were sitting on opposite sides of a room. A concrete room.

A man walked in to the room and gave the goat ledduce.

A man walked in to the room and polished the watermelon.

When the man wasn't in the room, the goat would desperately try to get out of its cage and the watermelon would sit still.

And the watermelon was lonely. Yes, the watermelon could feel emotions. Of course.

Beneath the shiny, multicolored exterior of the watermelon was a deep, deep, deep loneliness. I already said that. I repeated it to emphasize the point. Emphasize the point. To emphasize the deep, deep loneliness of Mr. Watermelon.

And the watermelon saw the goat slamming itself against its cage. The watermelon saw the goat staring at it. Staring at the watermelon. Staring intently. With lidded eyes.

And the watermelon assumed that the goat wanted to be friends.

The watermelon assumed that the goat was also feeling lonely.

The watermelon assumed that they shared a mutual enemy: the man. The man who had caged them.

The watermelon thought that, if they were to get rid of the man, the watermelon and the goat could then escape their cages and be friends, and never be lonely again.

The watermelon watched the goat as it stared back at the watermelon.

And the watermelon decided: "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! I'm getting out of this cage. I've had enough of isolation and misery."

And so, he came up with a brilliant plan.

I don't know what the plan was, but it was brilliant.

And so, the watermelon implemented the plan, and the man was frightened away or something. And the watermelon escaped from the cage.

And then the goat got more excited than ever, and began biting the bars of HIS cage, biting and biting and howling and howling. And biting. And howling. More repetition to emphasize the bites and howls of Mr. Goat.

And Mr. Watermelon knew how it felt to be confined, so he let the goat out of the cage.

For a brief moment, the goat ran towards the watermelon and the watermelon felt a great surge of joy. His loneliness was over! The goat would be his friend and they would form deep emotional bonds that would last forever!

But alas, it was not to be. Because the goat had not been staring at the watermelon because he wanted a friend. The goat stared at the watermelon because he was hungry. And the goat devoured the watermelon then and there.

The goat's howls had been wretched to hear. But the howls of the watermelon were even worse. They were silent. The loneliest sound of all.