The Parable of the n00b Illogicopedian

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The Parable of the n00b Illogicopedian is a story told by an unknown preacher to help spread the word of the Gods of Illogicopedia.

Once upon a time in a land far, far away, a n00b wandered around the vast wasteland known as the Internet in search of some decent humour. He had recently been classified as [INSANE] and needed a place where he could meet people of a similar affliction. He had already tried Wikipedia, but his edits were quickly reverted. Encyclopedia Dramatica claimed he suffered from "a bad case of irl butthurt due to excessive lulz" when they posted Goatse onto his talk page over there and he complained about it, and Uncyclopedia reverted his edits for being nonsensical ramblings. But one day - he found a site called Illogicopedia - and instantly spotted that it was full of nonsense, just like the kind he had added to so many articles on various encyclopedia sites. This was the day that would change a n00b's life forever.


Well, I'll be a monkey's bare-assed uncle, I've finally found myself a site worthy of my gift!, he exclaimed, jumping for joy. After a quick call to inform his mother of this amazing discovery, this n00b set to work instantly by editing articles. And thus he did contribute to many an article and help to add more structural content to the quivering mass of insane ramblings that is Illogicopedia, forever striving to achieve Illogicopedia honour.


After his day of editing and fruitful results (that is, several talk-page messages introducing various Illogicopedians), this n00b decided to proceed in writing his OWN article. He set to work instantly, spawning various random links and clever usage of wiki-markup to create something which would astonish the community of Illogicopedia for generations to come. Or something. But that's not the point - oh, wait, yes it is. The n00b created his article and it did cast a positive light upon the world of Illogicopedia and caused vast amounts of "z0mg t1hs artic1e iz vrry g00d" amongst these guys, or maybe it was "j00r art1cl3 sux0r". I don't really remember, I was a bit drunk at the time.

So, kids, what have we learned today? That even a n00b can write a decent article if he puts his mind to it. Unless he's stupid, then he'd probably just get his mum to write it. Of course, his mum would write a top-quality article which would become featured and he could take credit for it. That's what most n00bs do, then after many years of preparation, write their own articles and hope it does not get deleted (which it will) but maybe it won't. Hey, have you noticed the letters down the left-hand side spell "OWAS"? As in, "oh-ass". Someone better write the OWAS article or I'm gonna kill everyone. But anyway, I'm going off topic now. I guess the moral of the story is: No matter what the government tells you, this is not sparta.