Tuba

A tuba is a huge instrument that is usually made of some material that looks like it is metal. All tubas are played by males named Mortimer. It are a fact. We all know this from our learnings.

While all tubas are played by Mortimers, this also means that all Mortimers play tubas from the A=A and Anything=Anything rule. It also means that all Mortimers are tubas.

A tuba also serves as the perfect receptacle for chocolate pudding. A tuba is a great place to store chocolate pudding of all forms - in cups, free, in bowls, and any other way that it can possibly be found. This also includes chocolate pudding ice cream.

Because tubas contain chocolate pudding, this is the reason that parades with marching bands smell so good.