Unix

File:Woman machine.jpeg

How adorable -- a woman trying to use a computer.

Unix is a recursive acronym for Unix is sexy and has been a part of our daily lives for many years. As you can see from the picture to the right, she's kind of hot. If I were like 50 years older or if I could travel through time, I'd definitely boink her. She's probably a screamer too. Bonus!

Important Unix Disclaimer

Unix is an operating system for purists, produced by neutering pixies, making them gender-less eunuchs (or pixels). After they have been neutered, they are promptly cooked, and packed in freezer bags to be distributed among supermarkets worldwide, to be used as seasoning to go with fine cheese. Because of this, it is vitally important to check their internal temperature before eating.

Fun Unix Facts

• Unix runs on a massive array of entities, including fridges, badgers, pedometers, Latin dictionaries, wardrobes, flamingos and even computers. It has recently been ported to doors. There is no running version for windows yet, though people did manage to get an alpha version running on gates.

• The rights to the word 'Unix' have changed hands more times than you can shake a stick at, reputedly starting with Alexander the Great. It is estimated that by 2056, 50% of the Earth's population will have claimed ownership to the word Unix at some point or other, and 80% will have been sued for it.

• It is reported that Unix tastes better while using a toilet.

• As opposed to OS-oids, Unix is a Real Operating System (TM), which means that it is not the product of a marketing company.

• Unix is a clone of Linux, which is a clone of Windows, which are in the house that Jack built.

• Unix is illegal in Delaware, Texas, Montana, Peru, Ontario, and Antarctica. Punishments for the use or possession of Unix or related Unix paraphrenalia can be as limp wristed as a face slap to as severe as execution by ants.