You are snoring

I'm sorry to report that you are snoring.

it is loud and I'm not pleased.

Neither is the door. It opens away from you, to try and escape,

but it swings on its hinges.

Someone else on this planet is snoring at this exact moment.

It's probably loud, and I suppose somebody else is not pleased.

or perhaps they are

I've never heard of a snore fetish, but I'm sure they exist

who knows

Perhaps there are X-rated films out there of people snoring

or eating

or sneezing

or peeling an apple, or a peel.

I've never heard of anyone peeling a peel, but I'm sure it's possible.

or OPENING DOORs

or brushing their teeth

X-TREME BILL PAYING, VOLUME IIX

or mowing lawns

or reading articles on the internet

yes

A fetish video of someone reading an article on the internet

that would be weird

or a fetish video of someone making a fetish video of someone reading an article on the internet

Endless fetishes.

HINGES KEEP DOORS FROM RUNNING AWAY

And snores keep hinges employed.

We all know you are snoring, we have to turn the sun off now. Good night.