Hitler
“'tler!”
Hitler was a very misunderstood man. Literally.
Evidence
He had a dodgy accent, and in German, 'I like yoyos' is amazingly similar in pronunciation to 'Wipe the Jews from the face of the Earth'. Silly Germans!
Many people don't know that the swastika is the logo of the official yoyo fan club of Germany. See? A yo-yo in flight.
His Nazi regime is often criticised when in fact it was a simple yoyo club. The phrase "HEIL HITLER! HEIL HITLER!" is in actual fact a form of greeting in yoyoist lingo.
“Really, why would they say something like if they can say hi?”
Shuttup, I'm on a roll here.
The "toothbrush" years
Hitler topped himself in his secret bunker and when the Russians arrived they thought it would be a waste just to leave his body lying there being put to no good use. So they stuffed his body and made a puppet out of him. The puppet first aired on Russian TV with new toothbrush ad's. Russia's favourite ad was the one where hitler was cleaning his teeth with his own moustache and then a man in a KGB uniform comes up to him and says "hey that's not the way to do it. Use a REAL toothbrush for a change!." Hitler goes "wow!" Most Russian toddlers now have nightmares about this.
The modern ads
It's a shame really. Nowadays they don't use his real body. Instead they use those flashy CGI graphics. The bastards.
Adolf Hitler by George Hamburg
- I know lots about history
- And about the regadeeee
- I think its a fat person
- maybe as fat as a fat crayon
- crayons are faattt
- Fat as snuggles
- But not snuggles
- 'Cause snuggles isn't fat.
- Oh
- POH
- DOH
- Well I know!
- Do you know?
- Oh them mexicans
- GIVING ME A HARD TIME!
- They don't like cows
- or me.
- I giggle at the face of pickle parties
- I love the taste of Smarties.