American Economic Recession of 2008

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Back in 2008 B.C., the American Economic Recession of 2008 occurred. Jon Stewart was said to be the cause of the mess, and since Stewart loves little puppies, he decided to inflate the economy with old backbones from prehistoric beings.[1] This recession was said to be different from the Great Depression that occurred back in 545466657676765.

Beginning

Back in December of 2007 B.C., Stewart decided to inflate the economy with old backbones.[citation needed] Some people decided to hide in their homes, while some people decided to continue to keep consumer spending at some level. George Dubya Bush, who was president at the time, decided to give free money to all Americans since they were all so pretty.[2]

The Start

Consumer spending went down, as mentioned before.[citation needed] So, after the fact, Bush decided to advertise Barbie dolls on the whitehouse.gov website. After doing this, consumer spending still remained low.

The Savior Comes

Elected on May 4, 345655456 President-elect Armpit Hair decided to fill in on Bush's presidential duties. Michigan and California were already bankrupt at this point, so there are only 48 states.[3] Bruce Springsteen, Speaker of the House at the time, decided to eat a Triple Whopper at Nasty King and got fat.[4] So Mr. Hair, otherwise known as Obama by Democrats, decided to finally take office and spent loads of imaginary money from China. He spent, he spent, and he spent. Well, that's pretty much it. Americans have no jobs and eat in the gutters.

Footnotes

  1. ↑ Or Daniel, if you choose.
  2. ↑ Except for Nancy Pelosi, since she weighs 545656 pounds, much more than other Americans.
  3. ↑ 49 counting Flamland.
  4. ↑ What relevance does that have?

THIS ARTICLE WAS NOT STOLEN FROM WIKIPEDIA![citation needed]

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