I will get you...
{{#logotipo:http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20050720220938/uncyclopedia/images/9/9e/Clear250x200.gif}}
| To be confused with Anonymous. |
I am the one who lurks in the shadows. I am the one who writes the great works of art usually credited to "Anonymous." I am the most secret person in the world. No one knows my name. No one will ever know my name. I don't even know my own name. I am... Captain Anonymous.
too bizarre for Uncyclopedia, but Illogicopedia loves random stuff. |
File:Uncyclopedia.png → File:Wiki.png |
“No one knows this guy's name.”
~Captain Obvious on Captain Anonymous
“Indeed, Captain Obvious.”
~Captain Anonymous on what Captain Obvious just said
“He seems pretty anonymous.”
~Captain Understatement on Captain Anonymous
“That's an understatement.”
~Captain Obvious on what Captain Understatement just said
“Indeed again, Captain Obvious.”
~Captain Anonymous on what Captain Obvious just said about what Captain Understatement said about Captain Anonymous
Some random stuff
<css> /*Written by Silent Penguin
*Free to use under CC-BY-NC-SA *If you need to steal it, god help you. */
span.censtext{ text-color:black; background-color:black; padding:1px; } span.censtext:hover, span.censtext:focus{ text-color:black; background-color:white; padding:1px; } </css>While it was believed for a long time that Captain Anonymous is <css> /*Written by Silent Penguin
*Free to use under CC-BY-NC-SA *If you need to steal it, god help you. */
span.censtext{ text-color:black; background-color:black; padding:1px; } span.censtext:hover, span.censtext:focus{ text-color:black; background-color:white; padding:1px; } </css>a rip-off of the already known Captain Subliminal and is so definitely NOT the best<css> /*Written by Silent Penguin
*Free to use under CC-BY-NC-SA *If you need to steal it, god help you. */
span.censtext{ text-color:black; background-color:black; padding:1px; } span.censtext:hover, span.censtext:focus{ text-color:black; background-color:white; padding:1px; } </css>, they have been proved wrong when Anonymous murdered Subliminal in a fight to the death. Since then, people have blamed the "Jack the Ripper" murders on him and <css> /*Written by Silent Penguin
*Free to use under CC-BY-NC-SA *If you need to steal it, god help you. */
span.censtext{ text-color:black; background-color:black; padding:1px; } span.censtext:hover, span.censtext:focus{ text-color:black; background-color:white; padding:1px; } </css>said he also killed Hitler. The latter statement is true, because Hitler still hovers over Anonymous's bed saying that he will rule the world someday!!! In the meantime, however, he <css> /*Written by Silent Penguin
*Free to use under CC-BY-NC-SA *If you need to steal it, god help you. */
span.censtext{ text-color:black; background-color:black; padding:1px; } span.censtext:hover, span.censtext:focus{ text-color:black; background-color:white; padding:1px; } </css>currently owns "Icanhascheezburger.com" and is the only one in the world who thinks that FЯED is just cool. He <css> /*Written by Silent Penguin
*Free to use under CC-BY-NC-SA *If you need to steal it, god help you. */
span.censtext{ text-color:black; background-color:black; padding:1px; } span.censtext:hover, span.censtext:focus{ text-color:black; background-color:white; padding:1px; } </css>wishes he was in the bible, under Armaments, 3:1-3:9,000 right after the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch and is <css> /*Written by Silent Penguin
*Free to use under CC-BY-NC-SA *If you need to steal it, god help you. */
span.censtext{ text-color:black; background-color:black; padding:1px; } span.censtext:hover, span.censtext:focus{ text-color:black; background-color:white; padding:1px; } </css>SO NOT, NO MATTER WHAT YOU THINK in the PTA <css> /*Written by Silent Penguin
*Free to use under CC-BY-NC-SA *If you need to steal it, god help you. */
span.censtext{ text-color:black; background-color:black; padding:1px; } span.censtext:hover, span.censtext:focus{ text-color:black; background-color:white; padding:1px; } </css>because it is for n00bs.
Who is he, anyway?
Nobody knows, stupid. That's exactly what Captains Obvious and Understatement just said. So could you please just shut up? I mean seriously. Who would ever ask such a stupid question? (Maybe Al Jaffee, because after all, he is the writer of Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions... but I digress.) You are all idiots.
OMG! This just in! Captain Anonymous has been hypnotized to reveal his true name!
AND HIS NAME IS: <css> /*Written by Silent Penguin
*Free to use under CC-BY-NC-SA *If you need to steal it, god help you. */
span.censtext{ text-color:black; background-color:black; padding:1px; } span.censtext:hover, span.censtext:focus{ text-color:black; background-color:white; padding:1px; } </css>WHO THE HELL KNOWS!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
People who know who he is
Some people, such as his wife, his kids, a dead guy, nobody, and over 9,000 people he met on Facebook know who he is. Here is the complete list:
Some random stuff
<css> /*Written by Silent Penguin
*Free to use under CC-BY-NC-SA *If you need to steal it, god help you. */
span.censtext{ text-color:black; background-color:black; padding:1px; } span.censtext:hover, span.censtext:focus{ text-color:black; background-color:white; padding:1px; } </css>While it was believed for a long time that Captain Anonymous is <css> /*Written by Silent Penguin
*Free to use under CC-BY-NC-SA *If you need to steal it, god help you. */
span.censtext{ text-color:black; background-color:black; padding:1px; } span.censtext:hover, span.censtext:focus{ text-color:black; background-color:white; padding:1px; } </css>a rip-off of the already known Captain Subliminal and is so definitely NOT the best<css> /*Written by Silent Penguin
*Free to use under CC-BY-NC-SA *If you need to steal it, god help you. */
span.censtext{ text-color:black; background-color:black; padding:1px; } span.censtext:hover, span.censtext:focus{ text-color:black; background-color:white; padding:1px; } </css>, they have been proved wrong when Anonymous murdered Subliminal in a fight to the death. Since then, people have blamed the "Jack the Ripper" murders on him and <css> /*Written by Silent Penguin
*Free to use under CC-BY-NC-SA *If you need to steal it, god help you. */
span.censtext{ text-color:black; background-color:black; padding:1px; } span.censtext:hover, span.censtext:focus{ text-color:black; background-color:white; padding:1px; } </css>said he also killed Hitler. The latter statement is true, because Hitler still hovers over Anonymous's bed saying that he will rule the world...
someday...
HOLY CRAP THERE IS ALREADY A SECTION FOR SOME RANDOM STUFF!!! ohmigod i need to stop smoking so much crack.
Here is a list of suspects on his real identity
- Batman
- You
- Your mom
- Nobody
- Oscar Wilde
- Darth Vader
- Chuck Norris
- Sonic the Hedgehog
- Mickey Mouse
- Those morons at Wikipedia
- Princess Peach
Of course, nobody cares who he is anyway.
Allies
Enemies
CAPTAIN ANONYMOUS WAS HERE