Cillit Bang

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File:Cillitcoin.jpg
Clean all your coins!

“Hi, I'm Barry Scott (Makes mouth movements)”

- Barry Scott on on that dubbed advert

BANG! and the dirt is gone. Cillit Bang is a cleaning fluid that removes anything[1]... even yamama yoghourt and tartar sauce.

History

Invented by Johann Gambolputty von Ausfern-Splenden-Schlittel-Crasscrenbon-Fried-Digger-Dingle-Dangle- Dongle-Dungle-Burstein-von-Ticolensic-Grander-Knotty-Spelltinkle-Grandlich-Grumblemayer- Spelterwasser-Kurstlich-This-Is-Beggining-To-Drag-On-Himbleeisen-Nörnburger-Bratwurstle-Gersputen-Mitz VII, Cillit Bang was originally made to be a water substitute for sodiers fighting in France. However, after discovering that it really dissolved the soldiers insides into a goopy mess, Johan realized it was best used a cleaning fluid. He named it "Cillit Bang" because it killed his soldiers with a bang.

Chemical components

Cillit Bang was orignally developed when Johann dumped a canister of arsenic into his cookie mix. Not wanting to make another batch, he preceeded to make the cookies, which eventually[2] turned into Cillit Bang.

Customer[3] Testimonials

“Removes bloodstains perfectly!”

- Serial killer on on Cillit Bang

“Removes your annoying roommate who keeps asking you for $20!”

- Silent Penguin on on Cillit Bang

“I know it was used in the Eighth World War by Suiseiseki against the Dirigibles and Super Japan

- Desu on on Random Insanity

“It made my mum go away.”

- emo4eva on on Cillit Bang


See also, Dung Beetles

Footnotes

  1. Some assembly required.
  2. After completely revising, changing, and rethinking the recipe with new ingredients, amounts, and complete lack of cookie mix whatsoever.
  3. Paid actors

External links