Don't make me shoot
Hey man, I'm not kidding. You read the article title. I'm armed with a gun and I don't want you to make me shoot. I'm serious. And get me a butcher, some pliers, two hens, and a knife.
Don't move
You heard me! Don't move. But you have to get me those items. Yeah. Try that! Um... OK, you can move. Get me a butcher! This thing is loaded! Literally. And by the way, I don't need to kill you. I might want to though, and I am a little horny. Fuck. That has nothing to do with this. Where is my yacht?
Come on, pal. I need the butcher. And the pliers. DOn't make me shoot, man. Oh, yeah, this thing has three shots in it. TIMES TWO! That means 13! Ha. Now get the stuff. Where exactly did I leave my shoes? Had I been sleeping again?
Don't ask me why!
Just get the stuff. Come on, I don't need to waste my precious ammunition on a dog like you. Or are you a lobster? You have a build similar to one. Human? No, you are a rubber duckie. SHUT UP! You are a ducky whether you like it or not. And that is the end of it.
Now where is my butcher? How about those pliers? Oh. Matches will work. And I guess pocket lint will to. The hens? Well, I guess a manatee will serve the purpose. So let's see here. We got the stuff.
I forgot the plan
Don't laugh you freak! I've a gun that is loaded, and I ready to blow off your hose. I mean face! That's it! Face. SO move! I need to think of what I was going to do. Shit, man, I don't remember. So let's brainstorm. Did I really need that condom?
I've got it, We make a bridge that burns things! Ah, my friend, you must admit that I am a genius. I am just too smart.
OMG OMG!!!! Where is my cat!?! I can't believe I forgot Chawey Wumpsey! OK, kid, it is time for you to go. I will go get my backpack. You stay here. Don't move. And don't make me shoot. I have to go get my blender and tie, so if I were you, I would try to lick the sidewalk. That's all there is to it. Toodle-doo and have a fabulous day.