Patent Pending

From Uncyclopedia test II
Jump to navigation Jump to search
File:Wax bath.jpg
"Patent Pending!"

When one finds themselves coated in wax, it is typical to yell "Patent Pending", as it creates a false sense of security. Thus, overwhelming success graced the phrase (as dilapidated wax coating became a trendy activity in recent times), resulting in a pending patent thereof. This diabolically un-ironic play on words sent fans bonkers and desperate for more cute phrases, while the impending patent sort of just sat there to rot as the population drooled on it. As a general rule, the dappy two-liner is used in abundance, mainly by the teen chuggers, but its stark contrast from all other two liners has given it an association with such "serious" things as Jack Michaelson and Manburgers.

Variations (Knock Offs (Cheap Shots (Blatant Copying (Fourth Parentheses))))

The world, after being slapped in the face by "Patent Pending"'s rise to fame, quickly developed counter phrases in hopes of striking metaphorical gold:

  • Patent Sending
  • Parent Pending
  • Patent Bending (family board game designed to "push the limits" of peoples' arms (called patents in the game))
  • Patent Rendering

Unfortunately, roughly 89% of the resulting variations dried up within six days. Business flopped, office buildings were emptied. In fact, the drop in business was so sharp that "Patent Pending" was nearly able to establish a monopoly over the remaining competition by buying them out; however, their landing on Marvin Gardens with a hotel put a dent in their campaign and gave the opposition enough momentum to survive the "PatentApocalypse", the nickname given to the near take over of the catch (cute) phrase industry by "Patent Pending".

Gesticulations

File:Lhrsp.gif
Left hand recovery point slide

And this,

/left hand double butterfly swing

is how "Patent Pending took the claim to fame!

/left hand recovery point slide

Look at this interactive statistical graph!

Other information

Worldwide fame took the catch phrase genre of literature to all new levels, including "Above cloud 76" and "Nearly orbit", both of which reached platinum level phrase ranks. None, however, quite reached the popularity of "Patent Pending" which reached the rank of Super Platinum Gold-Lined Diamond Studded in the phrase rankings.

Within 6 years of first usage in wax baths, Patent Pending was operated by a "Highly collaborative and advanced board of directors with the intention of improving to welfare of people" , which as actually just a collection ofmonkeys jamming away at typewriters, putting out a series of random and repetitive numbers that their accountants call "statistics". But hush, this is a secret!

See Also