The Easter Bunny

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File:Dog-eating-rabbit.jpg
"Oh, Molly, how could you? Now who will deliver the kiddies' pressies?"
And thus the legend of Santa Claus was born.

Contrary to widely held belief, the Easter Bunny did exist and he did deliver chocolate eggs to the children of the Western World, but not poorer areas because the council couldn't afford the clean-up costs. Thankfully for parents living in such uncultured areas, the Easter Bunny was eaten by a small child who could not distinguish between the tastes of chocolate and rabbit, putting an end to the childish notion that an animal would bring you chocolate for free. At least, physically.

Prior to his untimely end, the Easter Bunny would spend most of the year in his grotto in the South Pole - he moved there from Lapland to avoid conflict with Santa's reindeer, who for some reason have developed a taste for rabbit in recent times. For one day a year, the Easter Bunny would deliver chocolate eggs; the rest of the time he would rebuild his snow fort whose unsecured ice walls would often fall prey to the elements and violent polar bears.

Nowadays, the Easter Bunny's legend lives on in the popular song Run, Rabbit, Run, B-Side to Little Saint Nick by the Beach Boys (not to be confused with the Pet Shop Boys). In reality, it resides in Deathworld, otherwise known as Hellk, along with Jesus, The Tooth Fairy and various other mythical and apocryphal beings the majority of the world's population refuse to believe in.

The Easter Bunny's once solid fort is now the site of the Geographic South Pole.

See also