The Man In A Pan
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Go on, add anything. Just make sure it rhymes, and each line begins with '#'.
Protip: use http://www.rhymezone.com for rhymes
(An attempt to make the) Longest Nonsensical Poem
Protip: use http://www.rhymezone.com for rhymes
I
- There Once Was A Man
- Who Lived In A Pan
- You May Know Him, too
- He Got Some Glue
- Stuck to a Grue
- And Was Beaten With A Shoe
II
- The story goes on
- His name was Don
- And in the middle of the night
- His boots took flight
- But have no fear
- Batchap is here!
- MMF is queer
- Mike Tyson once bit a guy's ear
- "That made no sense", Don thought
- Going against all the poetry he'd taught
- Confuzzled, he was
- His ear had a buzz
- Must've been a bug, flying from the trees
- He shouted, "Oh fuck! I'm allergic to bees!"
- He ran in circles, the screams he made
- All because of a bee, he was trying to evade
III
- He realized the bee had been dead
- So the buzzing sound was in his head
- The mental institution he would dread
- Just water and moldy old bread
- "Wait, that's prison," he said aloud
- No one heard it but a lonely old cloud
- Don talking to no one made the cloud glad
- "Wow," he thought, "This man is surely mad"
- "Insanity is no passing fad,"
- "This is one 'special' lad!"
- But wouldn't you know
- The Cloud had to go
- And Don was eaten by a Grue
- O' were that actually true
- A cow might have said "moo"
- But as you knew,
- He stepped in some poo
- All over his shoe
- O, what to do?
- So Don's mind took flight
- He resolved his plight
- In the middle of the night
- And with all his might
- Humped a neon light
- And saw the fright
- Within a rat's eye
- Just as he was about to eat some pie
- He could not lie
- The rat must die
- So he did what was right
- The rat became a kite
- Quick as a brew,
- RatKite Flew!
- But then he got mad
- Because it turned to a fad
- And everyone imploded
- into golden erosions
- I ate myself
- Yum Yum *Belch*
- So then I met a bard
- He really was a 'tard
- And then I sucked my thumb
- And he shot it with a gun
- While chewing gum
- And converting a nun
- O' what a bum!
- So then I got digested
- And then I rested
- I woke with a fright
- In the middle of the night
- And then I was in a toilet
- With a glow-in-the-dark rolex
- And walked in my ex
- Where I found a multiplex
- And an elf named Alex
- We had a blast
- I needed a leg cast...
IV
- That was a mess!
- But wouldn't you guess,
- This begins the story of Tess
- A woman no less
- She was under stress
- For she must confess,
- She murdered her dress
- Using her breast
- Nevertheless
- She felt blessed
- For she shaved off her bunions
- Using a Pork monger with onions
- She blasted her with a cannon of ions
- And a cannon of bosons
- Then leptons
- Then mesons
- Quantum physics is confusing
- My brain is oozing
- I think Im losing
- Or maybe just bruising
- They saw through my ruse!
- I drank too much booze
- So then I ate
- Some Cardboard cake
- And out came a rake
- The cake wasnt baked!
- It must be a fake!
- My name isnt drake!
- Its mr van helsing!
- Must I start belching?
- This misery is entrenching!
V
- And so I will fall
- Into the hall
- Curl up into a ball
- Then reach out to all
- And then stand tall
- As far as extraterrestrial electrogravitic propulsions go
- So...
- Eat your toe
- Go with the flow
- And dont smell your feet
- Or your bratwurst will treat
- You like a meat
- And Jimmy will eat your head
- Who is this Jimmy I speak of?
- No, not dead,
- He is a bird, a dove.
- It is so, my love.
- He smells like old hamburgers
- And eats McDonalds workers.
- They taste better than the burgers
- And penis jerkers
- But not English burghers
- And I eat them with my coworkers
- They give me the itches
- I do not know why
- Maybe it's witches
- Baked in a pie
- But them bitches
- They do not know
- I'll have them in stitches
- With my orange-glow
- Ho-ho!
- But now I know
- That I have no turnips
- The carrots are good
- But only to misfits
- I'll eat this shoe
- Without further ado
- So give me your soul
- While I munch on the sole
- I need a spoon and a bowl
- For this grain is whole
- A shoe made of wheat?
- Nonsense, that's weak!
- You don't know the poodle
- Covered in noodles
- Oodles and oodles
- Of noodles on poodles
- Eat the poodle
- And you may find
- The poodle may doodle
- On your intestines