This is all a dream

This is all a dream. The screen on which you are viewing this site, the room around you, the piping hot coffee you are presently drinking (the one you burnt your lips on two minutes ago), your 60 inch HD television which disappeared from the living room in mysterious circumstances not one hour ago. None of this is real. It is all a fabrication of your deluded and sleep-deprived mind.

Consequently, the keyboard I am typing upon right now does not exist in a physical sense, nor does the fantastic, state-of-the-art HD television sitting to my right... I mean, erm, the moderately priced 15 year old CRT TV set with visible signs of wear and tear. Yeah. My telly sucks, not like the one you used to have. I do not own a Toshiba 60 inch HD telly, nor do I know what happened to yours. It doesn't matter anyway, because like I said, it's all a dream!

That should be enough, I reckon he'll have moved on from this article by now. Time to watch the football!

References

• Smart Burgling by Rob D Telle, ISBN THIS-IS-N0T-A-MADEUP-ISBN