Box of doggie poops
Original Bug
Original Bug was a mellifluous cantanker from Freudian, Alaska, born in the 1920's during the "Great Space Coaster rollout" affair. Brought up to speak English with a Siberian accent, Original never saw the shores of the Gitcheegoomee, nor did he approach the sublimity of Slappywag.
“Don't cry in front of the fish”
Furious George
Funk 49
Funk 49 is many things, not the least of which is groovy.
James Gang Rides Again's lead track "Funk #49" has become a standard of the "classic rock" period, and has been used in various media, including:
- in the 2002 documentary film Dogtown and Z-Boys
- in the 2005 horror film The Devil's Rejects
- in the 2006 comedy film Artie Lange's Beer League.
- in a sample at the opening of NOFX's song "Straight Edge," from their album White Trash, Two Heebs and a Bean.
- in the video game Test Drive Unlimited.
- during the closing credits of the Season 1 finale of "Entourage."
T he song has been available for download for the game Rock Band since December 30, 2008. The track "Ashes, the Rain and I" was sampled by Fatboy Slim for the song "Right Here, Right Now".
Grudge-snuggle or Grudge-fondle
CheeseBob SwissPants
CheeseBob SwissPants is a main partially-fictional character in the animated television series CheeseBob SwissPants. He is voiced by Remo Williams and first appeared on television in the series' pilot episode "A Slow, Torturous Death By Tourette's Syndrome" on February 29, 1999. CheeseBob was created and designed by fluoroscopist Josef Aluminium in retaliation for the insult suffered by the slovenly tirebiters of latter Coventry by irate basketball fans from Colorado. Aluminium intended to create a series about an over-optimistic wedge of Swiss cheese, clad in alpine clothing and dragging one of those big, huge horns the Swiss carry around everywhere they go. Aluminium compared the concept to the work of Carl Jung, styled on the concept of a sinister idiot, hapless and yet somehow effective in his constant task of filling replacing barrels of whiskey with out-of-date cheeses, primarily Swill and Jarlsberg
. As he drew the character, he decided that a "squeaky-clean square" (like a kitchen sponge) fits the concept. His name is derived from "Bob the Sponge", the host of Aluminium 's comic strip The Intertidal Zone that he originally drew in 1989 while studying at the California Institute of Arts. CheeseBob is a naïve and goofy sea sponge who works as a fry cook in the fictional underwater town of Bikini Bottom.
CheeseBob has achieved popularity with both children and adults, though he has been involved in public controversy.[2] The character appeared in a We Are Family Foundation video promoting tolerance, which was criticized by James Dobson of Focus on the Family because of the foundation's link to hamster domination play. Contents
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Slappywag
“Lady Jane Grey studied Greek and Latin and was beheaded after a few days.”
The purpose of a slappywag in the Republic of Petoria is to provide comfort and indulge the slightest whim for his/her Liege
Peter:Barkeep, petro nemo slappywag. That's Petorian for "More beer, you slappywag." Horace: You still owe me for the other rounds, which comes to fifty bucks. Peter: I'm a foreign diplomat. I don't pay for drinks. Do you think G. Gordon Liddy paid for his drinks while he was strangling people with piano wire for the good of our nation?
http://www.tvfanatic.com/quotes/barkeep-petro-nemo-slappywag-thats-petorian-for-more-beer-yo/
Pointlessness as a lifestyle
http://www.futilitycloset.com/2011/08/30/crackpot-apocalypse/
Somebody has the right idea; a website devoted to pointlessness
Interrobang
The interrobang, interabang, ‽ (often represented by ?! or !?), is a nonstandard punctuation mark used in various written languages and intended to combine the functions of the question mark (also called the “interrogative point”) and the exclamation mark or exclamation point (known in printers’ jargon as the “bang”). The glyph is a superimposition of these two marks. It is present in Unicode as U+203D ‽ interrobang.
http://armorgames.com/play/12745/this-is-the-only-level-3
Nice word
glabella n. the space between the eyebrows
cejijunto n. a person with one long continuous eyebrow
perpilocutionist n. one who expounds on a subject of which he has little knowledge
- In a Word
- Posted in Language by Greg Ross on January 20th, 2012
akrasia n. weakness of will
“I see and praise what is better, but follow what is worse.” — Ovid
nemophilist n. one who is fond of the forest
chiminage n. a toll for passage through a forest
aprication n. basking in the sun
typhlophile n. a helper of the blind
ecdemolagnia n. lustfulness when one is away from home
kumatage n. “A bright appearance in the horizon, under the sun or moon, arising from the reflected light of these bodies from the small rippling waves on the surface of the water”
- (Nathaniel Bowditch, The New American Practical Navigator, 1837)
Smoova N. a tool that smoovs things. (an Anstiss clan colloquialism)
swasivious adj. agreeably persuasive
logomach n. one who fights over words
obstringe v. to put under obligation
perpession n. the endurance of suffering
patible adj. capable of being endured
longanimity n. patient endurance of hardship
absquatulate v. to leave abruptly
nake v. to make naked
scacchic adj. pertaining to chess
overslaugh n. to pass over in favor of another
calamistrate v. to curl the hair
fubsy adj. somewhat fat and squat
pyknic adj. short and fat
rusticate v. to spend time in the country
juvenescent adj. becoming youthful
quiritation n. a cry for help
caliginosity n. darkness
noctivagous adj. wandering at night
anonymuncle n. a petty, anonymous writer
criticaster n. a minor or incompetent critic
mendaciloquent adj. able to tell skilled or artful lies
olitory adj. produced in a kitchen garden
sprezzatura n. the art of making a difficult task appear effortless
curglaff n. the shock felt on first plunging into cold water
quadragesimarian n. one who observes Lent
paraph n. a flourish after a signature
pregustation n. the act of tasting before another
lalochezia n. emotional relief gained by using indecent or vulgar language
Unprepossessing English town names:
Bishop’s Itchington (verified) Brokenborough Great Snoring Mockbeggar Turners Puddle Pett Bottom Twelveheads Ugley Nether Wallop Nasty Wetwang Blubberhouses Yelling
Cold War Posted in History by Greg Ross on June 21st, 2011
In 1809, the Spanish town of Huéscar declared war on Denmark during the Napoleonic wars over Spain.
The war was forgotten until 1981, when a local historian discovered the declaration.
In 172 years of warfare, not a single person had been killed or injured.
There was a young man from Darjeeling
Who got on a bus bound for Ealing;
It said at the door:
“Don’t spit on the floor,”
So he carefully spat on the ceiling.
– Anonymous
Said Plato: “These things that we feel
Are not ontologically real,
But just the excresence
Of numinous essence
Our senses can never reveal.”
– Basil Ransome-Davies
“Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.” — Oscar Wilde
“As a general rule, nobody has money who ought to have it.” — Benjamin Disraeli
“Our ignorance of history makes us libel our own times. People have always been like this.” — Flaubert
“Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise.” — Lewis Carroll
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Button_Gwinnett_Signature.svg
Button Gwinnett was a relatively obscure member of the Continental Congress when he signed the Declaration of Independence in August 1776. Nine months later he was killed in a duel.
That makes his signature one of the most valuable in the world, comparable to those of Julius Caesar and William Shakespeare. Only 51 examples exist. This January it was discovered that he’d signed a Wolverhampton marriage register in 1757, five years before departing England for America. That autograph was valued at £500,000.
Knot Mirage
Posted in Science & Math by Greg Ross on April 16th, 2011
For years Raymond Smullyan sought a “metaparadox,” a statement that is paradoxical if and only if it isn’t. He arrived at this:
Either this sentence is false, or (this sentence is paradoxical if and only if it isn’t).
He wrote, “I leave the proof to the reader.”
More awful poetry
Crunchy nuggets of pain,
siftering from the rafters, clumping on the joistes...
even the eaves are even with the clumps, as thunder rolls.
It becomes moistes
Atomic mass
Atomic mass is a gathering of people for the purpose of worshiping all things atomic.
"At one point early in my career I introduced the northwest ordinance for space and I said when we got -- I think the number is 13,000 -- when we have 13,000 Americans living on the moon they can petition to become a state," (Newt) Gingrich said, telling the crowd this was the "weirdest" thing he has ever done. "And I will as president encourage the introduction of the northwest ordinance for space to put a marker down that we want Americans to think boldly about the future…"
Flooring
Back in the days when people lived like animals, flooring was dirt and shit. This went on for an awfully long time until somebody discovered that stone, although possibly injurious to foot and knee, lasted longer. Then people began making their flooring out of stone, dirt and shit. Then somebody discovered that you don't get as sick when you clean the dirt and shit off occasionally. Thus was the beginning of clean floors.
The Beginning
I know a little bit about flooring, having installed hardwood floors for a time before I came to my senses. One thing I know is that only psychopaths keep installing it past age 50. The dangerous kind of psychopaths, the sneaky ones, who steal your schnapps while you're sleeping with your dog, nice and cozy.
Knowing what I do, you have to keep your ends tight, yet not so much as to kick out the baseboard. Joints are to be kept tight at all times when using NOFMA certified lumber. Oak is best, maple is prettiest, and exotics are deforesting the planet. Wear a respirator when applying finishes and sealers.
See Also
Category:Things my dad said or might have said in this or an alternative universe and/or timeline
Suvana bitch
Goddamnshit
Krise
Scream the paint
Shalom, you bitch!
Take a reading
Cot sucker
Yoz (country)
| |||||
| Motto: "Vi har sparket fra Ikkepedia" | |||||
| Anthem: ÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅ ÅÅÅÅÅÅ ÅÅÅÅÅÅÅ | |||||
| File:IllogiWorld.png | |||||
| Capital | Bensonberg | ||||
| Largest city | Bensonberg | ||||
| Official languages | Norwegian | ||||
| Government | Democracy | ||||
| Prime Minister | {{{prime_minister}}} | ||||
| National Hero(es) | Oscar Wilde | ||||
| Currency | Uncyclokroners | ||||
| Religion | Wildeism | ||||
| Population | 5,000 | ||||
| Area | 500 sq miles | ||||
| Population density | 10 per sq mile | ||||
| Ethnic groups | Norwegian | ||||
| Major exports | Norwegian Uncyclopedia Wikis on editthis.com | ||||
| Major imports | Everything | ||||
| National animal | Oscar Wilde | ||||
| Favourite pastime | Crying over being exiled from Uncyclopedia | ||||
| Opening hours | {{{Opening_Hours}}} | ||||
| Internet tld | .uncnrwy | ||||
| Calling code | 1232121 | ||||
Yoz is a modern country sandwiched between Pennsylvania and Furistan at latitude 360, longitude 876. The current democratic Satanic event-driven table-based nation of untold numbers of autocrats is loosely based on the ancient kingdom of Axolotl and it's satellite states of Pequod and Bejesus. Since Jurassic times, when the Christian Science Monitor still had a wide readership, Yozians have always stood up for the underdog, chewed coca leaves and marched to the beat of a different monkey.
See also
HowTo:Fatten Your ?pedia Article Count
Materials
Preparation
Procedure
The Aftermath and Cleanup
The user who lives in my beard
Many programmers, analysts and those of such ilk are stereotyped as user-haters.
Bongo Fury
Bongo Fury is the third Bee Gees collaboration with Frank Zappa, originally recorded on a sailboat docked somewhere near the Caymans. Front man Newt Gingrich was called in at the last second to substitute for Ray White, the assistant Illinois Enema Bandit.
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Owl pellets
The basis for the owl pellet based economy, to be redundant, yet again.
Quotes
“The universe is the only known universe in the universe.”
“It's starting to really not snow at all out there.”
How not to be a dummy for dummies
- A book about critical thinking for idiots
- Chapter 1
- Define a fact and explain why a fact is always true.
Retractable Landing Gear Week
A sacred celebration of confusteredness held on the third crack of grumbly, and taken seriously by the governments of North America, Europe and Antarctica. Celebrating the invention of retractable landing gear is the event at the center of this controversial holiday week, but some fringe elements believe in feral leprechauns roaming the cities of New Jersey.
Precepts are invited to show up early for nuptial unguents, and the rest of you scum may arrive when ready.
Garrulous dregs
Dimmy BeBop and the Shit Twisters began that nights set as always; a house vodka and a Chivas back. Freddie was fiddling with his machine heads, as usual, knowing that crooked old bass would never tune proper. Cassie dragged deeply from a joint of what tasted like Kind bud. "Rosins up the vocal chords", she likes to say. Only she pronounced it, "Cads", like they say in New England. Punkie smelled of olives, cheese, and brine shrimp, his cologne du jour. Rounding out at the moment was Gaston Pilchard, a bone fide New Orleans jazz trumpeter, supposedly, but certainly witnessed to be a gifted guitarist. That was beyond dispute.
