Cat

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Your typical cat. LAZORS! PEW PEW!

“Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow. Meow meow meow. Meow meow meow meow meow. Meow meow. HISS! MEOW! ROW! ROOOW!”

- Dog

Upsides of a cat

Cats are household pets, often used for the cleaning of gardens because cats love to eat cacti. Generally spanning from 125 to 200 feet tall and 200 to 300 feet long from tail to nose, cats are very useful creatures. For example, if you compete in a pickle-growing contest, one can order the cat to fire it's dread eye beams upon your enemy's plants, destroying them and leaving nothing but a scenic smoking crater. As cats are radioactive creatures, they are immune to everything. When used in battle, cats can decimate entire fleets. If a nuclear explosion is to occur, it's a widely-known fact that only cats will survive. Add to the fact the cat CAUSED the nuclear explosion in the first place and you have one evil creature.

Downsides of a cat

However, taking care of a cat is somewhat cumbersome, due in part to the fact their litterboxes must easily be the size of a house and radiation-proof, lest the entire neighbourhood become a radioactive wasteland. It is also a pain to clean the litterbox or take the cat for a walk, which often results in destruction of the city. In addition, a cat's meow has been known to create sonic booms capable of destroying an entire office building. Finally, feeding a cat is the easiest part, as they can gather enough nutrition for the day from half or so of an ocean and about 20,000 humans.

See also

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