Christianity

Christianity is religion that started in the first century at the beginning of the "Common Era" previously called "A.D." that was supposed to turn the world upside down. But if that happened, everybody would fall into space!! This made everybody mad so they killed Jesus.

One of the main tenets of Christianity is that evil rock bands put backwards messages in their songs, and bad things happen to the brains of people who listen to those songs. Did you know Jesus spelled backwards is "Susej"?? Who wants to worship "Susej"?

Instead, most Christians worship Christian Slater (the actor) as a God. Believers think that he ascended from the Heavens to instill his wisdom upon the human race, and that all his movies contain secret messages about the meaning of human existence. Meetings of the Church of Christian Slater occur every Sunday, when they watch reruns of 90210, sing choir versions of the show's theme song, and share testimonials of when they first discovered that the only road to salvation was through the unconditional love of Christian Slater.

There are also some modern Christians who worship Christian Bale. They regard The Dark Knight and its prequel as Holy works, and many worship a "holy trinity" composed of Christian Bale, Morgan Freeman and Heith Leger.

See Also

• Christians
• Xtian
• Ulcerative Colitis

Everything