Forest Fire Week
Forest Fire Week is a bimonthly orgy of wanton destruction, celebrated by Uncyclopedians to soothe their latent maniacal tendencies under the guise of the ever-elusive mandate of "quality improvement".
They can't be blamed, really. As a flock of loons put in charge of managing the fecal content of the pond that they themselves are pooping in, it's a lost cause.
C'mon, if it was a real quality control initiative, the whole site would have to be burned to the ground, and its community banished to the fiery depths of hell. They could have a new beginning, and we could have a super-nifty weenie roast accompanied by dancing and fiddle music, as we basked in the warm glow of their annihilation.
Don't you get all warm and tingly just thinking about it?
What is Quality?
While difficult to define exactly—particularly by Uncyclopedians themselves—based on observed behaviours, "quality" may be operationally defined as:
| Any state of being which maximizes the number of carefully-crafted penis jokes, wizard jokes, and other memes-of-the-week, while eschewing articles that fall outside of whatever it is that we agree is funny this particular moment of the day. |
Quality Improvement in Action
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Examples of Actual Quality
- (still protected on Uncyclopedia)
Examples of Dubious Quality
- (nearly deleted by Uncyclopedia)
Examples of Deletable Content
- (now proudly hosted on Illogicopedia)
- Callgirl
- Charles Ponzi
- Cheese Socks
- Christians
- Colonel Sanders (rewritten for Illogicopedia)
- Criminal record
- Diamond
- Dolphin
- Free-fall
- List of Reasons Not To Kill You In Cold Blood Right Where You Stand
- Rye
- Venus, an entire planet deleted by Uncle Pete and fed to a Venus flytrap
Glory, glory Illogicopedia!
We're not Uncle Pete's trash bin. We're the authors that kept plugging our brilliant novel to every publisher in town before it became the surprise hit on the NY Times Bestsellers list, before being adapted into a movie, a video game, and an exciting breakfast cereal.
We're the dealer that cashes in on the lost treasures that Purging Pete stupidly threw out during his drunken Spring cleaning.
We're the foundry that pours nuggets of comedy gold from the ore-rich land that Prospector Pete ignorantly stumbled by.
And we're the guys (and girls) that know that even a fun string of zingers like this gets boring fast, and so we'll quit while we're still ahead.