Criminal record
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File:ABBA on turntable.jpg
Do not ever place a criminal record and a record by 80's band The Police on the same turntable!
Criminal record is a vinyl LP (or, more recently, a compact disc) that people buy when they wish to stick it to the man.
Playing the disc can result in being arrested and charged. It should only be played with caution.
Bands of outlaws
The following have been ruled to be criminal records; any attempt to play them will be reported directly to Sting and The Police:
- "I shot the sheriff" - Eric Clapton
- "Drugs in my pocket" - The Monks
- "Cocaine" - Eric Clapton
- "Band on the Run" - Paul McCartney
- "Desperado" - Eagles
- "Take the money and run" - Steve Miller Band
| Enforcement | The fuzz | Health Police | Fun Police | The King | LAPDOG | Law | PC Plod | The Police | Police officer | The VFF Police | Polygraphs (Test) | |
| Legislation | Ah Mate Clause | Copyright (infringement) | Gun control | Phthing | Reverse Logic Act | Title IX | |
| Crimes | Article fixing | Biscuit Technique | Cons | Crime | Drug abuse | Frankenstein Slavery | Malpheasants | Mouseketeering | Murder | New Monaco | Punctuation abuse | Rape | Racism | Sexism | Shoplifting | Snoop Dogging | Stargazing fraud | Theft | Vandalism | |
| Criminals | Dishwashers | Gangsters | Gangster Slaves | Killer Whales | Pirates | Racists | Space pirates | Vandals | |
| Civil Law | Wrongful Monkey Suit | |
| Sentencing | Confession | Court | Criminal record | Death | Gaol | Precinct | Prison | Torture |
