Theft
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Theft is taking what you deserve. People will complain that it is there's, but ignore them. You know that you are right. You can theft: shoes, bananas, webcams, Noah's dad, sporks, misleading hyperlinks, and pretty much anything you want.
Cereal
The theft of cereal is the only wrong theft. You will die if you take anyone's cereal. Trust me. I have the head of two cows and a dragon. They tried to theft my cereal and a came at them with a smg. [[]][[]][[]][[]][[]][[]][[]]. The only way to not get killed when thefting cereal is to carry urban cheese.
Virginity Theft
The most common variety of theft, it is usually committed by Jeff Houser while you are sleeping.
See also
| Enforcement | The fuzz | Health Police | Fun Police | The King | LAPDOG | Law | PC Plod | The Police | Police officer | The VFF Police | Polygraphs (Test) | |
| Legislation | Ah Mate Clause | Copyright (infringement) | Gun control | Phthing | Reverse Logic Act | Title IX | |
| Crimes | Article fixing | Biscuit Technique | Cons | Crime | Drug abuse | Frankenstein Slavery | Malpheasants | Mouseketeering | Murder | New Monaco | Punctuation abuse | Rape | Racism | Sexism | Shoplifting | Snoop Dogging | Stargazing fraud | Theft | Vandalism | |
| Criminals | Dishwashers | Gangsters | Gangster Slaves | Killer Whales | Pirates | Racists | Space pirates | Vandals | |
| Civil Law | Wrongful Monkey Suit | |
| Sentencing | Confession | Court | Criminal record | Death | Gaol | Precinct | Prison | Torture |
