HowTo:Write an article for illogicopedia whilst under the influence of alcohol
Writing an article for ?pedia whilst under the influence of shiny brown liquids is possibly one of the most dangerous tasks you could possible take part in, for you risk being so illogical you even confuse the much feared werewolves and getting a so called chinese burn...
However many have somehow completed this marvelous feat of ummmm... Stupidity and create masterpieces like Fnurdletoot and the like. Should you fail however you will be at the mercy of the admins and they're all mighty fish sticks. And I for one will be very, very disappointed in your total failure. So maybe I'll stop rambling and guide you through your dangerous mission, thing.
Starting out
First of all you need an idea for what your article of doom is going to be aout. The best way to create an article for illogicopedia is to combine the first two words that pop into your head and make them into something silly. I am going to take the words fish and scissors. So I am going to write about the proclaimed Scissor fish.
Next I need to decide what is the scissor fish? Is it scissor shaped fish or is it fish shaped scissors. Either way you need to provide an introduction that whilst containing traces of nuttiness, must also well introduce your topic rather well. Failing that your article shalt be Devoured.
Once you have collaborated in the planning stage, proceed to drink alcohol until you deem your vision hazy and you seem pickled tink! But be sure to keep a large bucket handy in case nature makes its call whilst you are writing, or you have a compulsive urge to wear the said desk over your head or neck related regions...
I am writing words here because I iz drunk: PICKLE PICKLE PICKLE PICKLE PICKLE PICKLE PICKLE PICKLE PICKLE.
Formulating your article
You article needs words man, yes you need lots and lot of words that are relevant to your subject matter, I always find pickles and fish sticks good things to bring up when discussing scissor fish so I'll have a go with that:
Scissor fish are extremely tasty sea pickles made up of tasty, tasty sea cucumbers and FISH STICKS!!!!
This works well on its own, eh? But I think its not yet illogical enough to appease The gods. So I'm going to make it sound more pleasing and wonderful and perhaps add traces of nuts.
Scissor fish are extremely tasty sea pickles made up of tasty, tasty sea cucumbers and FISH STICKS!!!! BOOP BOOP BOOP, purple monkey dishwasher!
Images man
As much as words do they can only tell part of your so called story. Remember An image says 1000 words, or is it the other way around? Anyhow you better add relevant images to your article or you're readers will yawn and giggle at your lack of writing skills. For my scissor fish article I added a pink cow simple because it was the first image I saw and it made he laugh in a drunkish sort of way. So please for the love of god. Your article needs images PINK COW, without pink cow you are doomed to fail!
Oh right the article, yes once you have added adequate levels of pink cow, added a pinch of salt and pepper and stirred it around for ten to fifteen minutes you need to add very crispy and tasty captions that support what your image is supposed to represent. For example my pink cow (which you should have added to your article) should have a caption that symbolizes pink cow, in this case I believe you should use the first 3 words that pop into your head in sentence format. Left Pilot Treasure map.
So I will use the caption I hit the left side of that pilot with a treasure map. Sounds logical enough eh?
Now repeat this step with various images of pink cow, spacing them evenly and formatting them to the left and right margin even and making your article generally prettier that everyone else's and voila you have added all your required pink cow, and your article is complete! (and they say its best to attack illogicopedia whilst sober!)
Consequences
So yay, you have written an entire article for ?pedia and you weren't even sober! You'll wake up tomorrow with a pounding headache and look at your work and giggle in a childish manner, before realizing you actually wrote your some what nonsensical masterwork, but be prepared for them there much feared consequences.
If however you are caught using the site, whilst under the forbidden liquids act totally natural. Once the patrolling werewolf has passed on you may casually slip back into the drunk phase and repeat this entire process to your hearts content. BLEEAAAAH!!! If on the off chance you are caught being irresponsible, simply blame the green piggy for spiking your alcohol free cocktail.
If the admin is confused by your article, calm them down and offer them a slight more sensible place to hang out, of simply run like hell before they bite you.
And so there we have it! Not only have you somehow managed to write your article for the illogicopedia whilst totally off your face but you have some how avoided the mad fur of dem adminz. Have an apple to commemorate your glorious achievement.