I shot elmo
Yes, the popularized Elmo has met it's grim fate. I did indeed shoot him (her?).
How did we come to such circumstances? Well, to be frank, I am not quite sure myself. Let's try to recal--
In the beginning
Wait, who the fuck are you?
The person who watched how you and Elmo came together
Oh, ok. Continue, please.
Ahem. ANyhow, like I was saying...
Timmy here was made into a pile of Play-doh and was rolled down a hill. This process made him get covered in moss and this made a chemical reaction forming... A TREE!!! This tree grew up and was admired by... I don't know, a bear? There wasn't much to be admired by, considering he was in your pants. SO, then this tree morphed into Elmo and he crawled out of your pants and went out to see the world. Oh yeah, he tickled your pickle in your pants.
Then he saw the stupid author of the article and offended him by being red. The author dude shot him in the head.
THE END
How was that?
A LIE!!!! LISTEN TO ME!
Now I was sitting at home and then a monkey was staring through the window. Rather strange, but instead I phoned the local plumber and when he came in it was ELMO! So, in an attempt to save my dog and pride, I pulled out my trusty grill and threw it through the wall, making an escape route for me.
I jumped out running, ran for twenty feet and was consequently out of breath. I turned around, and who was looking thorugh the hole in the wall? Santa! The house then exploded, having a rain of what I thought was brain fall all over me and the pine tree six feet away.
But then, Elmo jumped on my back! I threw him inot a tree, and A spaceship came and sucked him up like a cow. At that point I thought my pride was safe... but I was wrong. AS I walked to the local whorehouse, something shined beneath my feet. What was it? A miniature Elmo! Then it satrted to grow... and grow and grow and grow! Then it melted and a balloon popped some twenty miles away from where I was standing, which has EVERYthing to do with chemicals and their tendencies. Now, back to the point: ELMO IS EVIL so I went down the lane to Sesame Street and shot him.