IllogiBooks:The U.S. History You Never Learned in School/American Revolution
- Main Article: The American Revolution
Once the Colonists started revolting, a whole big bad war got going. In fact, it became a whole revolution, not just 180°. This big battle of the Brits changed the course of history as we know it, because it made iMerica, that place that really sucks.
Prelude
Americans were mad for some reason. Don't ask me why. It was probably because they didn't like the British people's accents or something. But that is absurd! Who doesn't like the ol' British accent? I don't know.
Either way, Americans decided that Britain sucked, so they started revolting and fought against them.
What happened in between
A couple of people got guns and shot at each other, essentially. The Americans, luckily, had people like Johnny Appleseed and Paul Bunyan to help crush the British military, while they had, er, tea, or something.
Some notable figures of the war include George Washington, who did something that might have been helpful in the war, like shoot somebody. If I actually knew, I would tell you, but Wikipedia is loading slow so I can't know for sure. Along with Georgie boy, there was, er.... nobody, except for people who shot each other.
In the water, Britain had big bad boats, but luckily America pulled teh drain plug out of the ocean so it emptied and the boats couldn't do anything.
In Conclusion
American won. Suck it, Great Britain!
Guided Practice Questions
- What color pants did the British Military wear?
- How did America win the war?
- How many degrees did America revolve?
Answers
- They didn't wear pants.
- Wait, they won?
- 360.2