IllogiBooks:The U.S. History You Never Learned in School/Columbus

Before European hostile takeover peaceful transition, America was full of people from India. Some think they were well without Europeans and Native Americans, but many think U.S. capitalism would be impossible without them.

First Invasion

America was first invaded by Christopher Columbus back in 34445 B.C. He flew with his wings and carried a crew on his backs. Some think he had three cargo ships back then, but we all know that Noah was the only one with a ship back then. Some historians argue that Columbus founded the Americas by accident, but him and Mexico purposely decided to enslave and eat the Indians, since India was a part of America (continental drift was not in effect back then). Anyway, Columbus stole a lot of riches and returned them to Mexico, then a part of Europe.

Second Invasion

The Mexicans came along to steal more riches and eat more Indians thanks to Columbus and his back with the all-powerful wings. So then, Mexico declared the Americas European territory.

Third Invasion

After Columbus died of fib cancer, a group of 12 year old Youtube trolls decided to invade the Americas for a supply of candy and soda. Since they were small, the the Indians killed them and sent them to China for other 12 year olds to eat.

Guided Practice Questions

• 1. Who first invaded America?
• 2. What country was he from?
• 3. What color socks am I wearing?

Answers

• 1. Forrest Gump
• 2. France
• 3. Trick question, I am not wearing socks